Recently, while wading through old papers, I came across a high school report card that caught my attention. It wasn’t the marks but the comments that made me pause.
“Jeanne can raise this mark with a little more effort.” “A little extra work would bring a much highter mark. Potential is higher, I feel.” “Jeanne is capable of an even better mark.”
Clearly, my teachers thought I wasn’t living up to my potential. Which begs the question. What is potential? And who determines whether or not you’re living up to it?
The first question is easily answered. Potential is defined as the necessary abilities and qualities to become successful or useful in the future. Potential is something we all have.
The second question is more difficult to answer. We’re faced daily with messages about how we should live, what we should want, and what success means. We’re pressured – subtly and not-so-subtly – by family, friends, and colleagues to achieve certain milestones and follow certain paths. When we don’t meet the expectations others place on us, the fallout can sometimes be painful.
We often mistake potential with talent. We all have natural skills and abilities of which, if nurtured, we could achieve a high level of expertise. Potential, however, covers more than just our talents. It also includes our character, our relationships, and our success in life.
What Prevents Us from Reaching Our Potential?
We may not be aware of our own potential but we usually have an inkling when we’re not meeting it. There is a nagging sense that we could be or do “more”. We may be standing on the sidelines, watching as our friends move forward in their lives, achieving goals and realizing dreams, while we continue to struggle. Understanding what holds us back can be the key to breaking free.
Fear
Fear is a great demotivator, keeping us frozen in inaction. It creeps into our thoughts, our habits, and our relationships. Fear of failing can keep us from trying. Fear of succeeding can lead to self-sabotage. Fear of rejection prevents us from being authentic. Often we don’t realize that fear is the obstacle that’s holding us back.
Limiting Beliefs
Beneath the fear lie the limiting beliefs that we aren’t good enough or don’t deserve to have success in our personal and professional lives. What we think and how we talk about ourselves can derail any efforts we do put towards reaching our potential. That self-talk and the excuses we make often provide clues to what belief it is we’re holding that keeps us from moving forward.
Lack of Focus
There’s a commercial with a tag line “you can have it all” and too often we try to do just that. My mother would call it “biting off more than you can chew”. With limited hours in a day, the more goals, activities and interests we try to cram in, the more scattered our energies. Deadlines are missed, plans are cancelled and, overwhelmed, we begin to procrastinate and avoid.
The flip side of trying to do too much is not having a goal at all. Without a clear direction to work towards, we’re susceptible to distraction, procrastination and a lot of dead ends.
Trying to Please Someone Else
We might think making others happy is a good thing. When what we do is based on someone else’s standards of success, or we follow a particular path because it’s what someone else thinks we should do, we’re not going to put the same kind of effort as if it was a direction we’d taken for ourselves. Consider the parent who wants their child to be an accountant when they really want to open their own restaurant.
Often, we don’t realize our own potential until we find ourselves in situations that push us beyond what we ourselves believe we’re capable of achieving. If you’d rather not wait for that point, there are things you can do now to start moving in the right direction.
How to Reach Your Potential
Know Your Strengths and Your Weaknesses
I’ve always loved to sing, but I recognize that, even with professional help, my voice will never make it beyond the 4th string chorus in an off-off-off-off-OFF Broadway musical. Being realistic about what you do and don’t do well can prevent you from wasting your time and energy on activities that won’t bring the results you want. When you focus on your strengths, you increase the possibility of reaching your potential in a given area.
Take responsibility
The only person who can bring out your full potential is you. While we don’t often have control over what happens around us, we do have the power to decide how we react to those circumstances. When you accept responsibility for where you are in life, you begin to change your mindset to seek possibility and solution.
Set Challenging Goals
You’ll never know how far you can go until you push yourself beyond your comfort zone. Aim high. Dress for the job that you want, not the job that you have. The more specific the goal and intention, the more likely you are to achieve it.
Pratice Discipline
It’s no secret you are what you do. When you develop good habits and the discipline to work at your goal everyday, those incremental steps will bring you closer to where you want to be. James Clear, who wrote Automic Habits, suggests making a 1% improvement every day. Small changes over time can lead to incredible results in the long term.
Create a support network
Your social network can have a big impact on whether or not you reach your potential. Seek out people who believe in you, who challenge, support and encourage you, and who keep you accountable. These people will cheer you on when you encounter obstacles and setbacks.
We all progress at our own speed and reaching your potential may take a little more time than others. That’s okay. Ultimately, the one who decides if you’ve reached your full potential is you. The question to ponder now is, how far do you want to go?
“Potential is a priceless treasure, like gold. All of us have gold hidden within,
but we have to dig to get it out.”
Joyce Meyer
Life Lessons from Camino de Santiago
#1 – Choose Your Destination
Have you ever found yourself lost? Unsure? Basically dissatisfied and wanting change?
I found myself in that spot in the fall of 2014. After a six-year period of loss, I was facing mid-life single, childless, parentless, and unsure what my next steps would be. It was then a friend reminded me I’d once talked about walking Camino. An 800 km pilgrimage across Spain that dates back to the 9th century, Camino is a metaphor for life – sometimes hard, sometimes easy, every step a choice. Over a quarter of a million people walk the Camino every year, taking away the lessons it offers.
No matter how old you are, having a destination or goal to work towards provides your life with reason, purpose and direction. Knowing where you’re going helps to focus your energy, avoid procrastination and promote personal growth. When you’re moving towards your destination, you’re energized and feel good about yourself and that translates into every area of your life.
When you find yourself disenchanted and wanting change, try to get to the root of your unease. What about your current situation makes you unhappy or stressed?
Next , consider your values and whether what you’e doing today aligns with thoses values. When you prioritize what matters most to you, you’ll make decisions that support those values.
Now think about your interests, skills and talents. What draws your attention and energizes you? If your could do anything and money was no object, what would that be?
Lastly, imagine what your best life would look like if there was nothing standing in your way. Where are you? What are you doing? Who is with you? How does this make you feel?
Once you’ve considered all these factors, you should have a pretty good idea what you want your destination to be and can take the first steps towards creating your best life.
You can watch the video here .
“There is no passion to be found playing small-
in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”
Nelson Mandela
Books for Personal Growth
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck – Mark Manson
With chapter titles like “Don’t Try”, “You’re Wrong about Everything” and “Victimhood Chic”, it’s obvious Manson has taken a different approach to life improvement.
Manson’s no-holds-barred, in-your-face language and stories of his own failings is refreshingly honest and and highly relatable. Using his past experiences, Manson shows the key to our empowerment is embracing our flaws, accepting our limitations, and facing our hard truths. In doing so, we can shift our focus on those things that truly matter, rather than waste our energy (and our f*cks) on things that don’t.
An easy, though sometimes uncomfortable, read, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, is the best friend who tells you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.
JEANNE M WALSH COACHING 