Perception Vs. Reality

How to Challenge Your Perception to Create a Better Experience

The information itself is neutral. The weight we give it is based on a multitude of factors, such as our upbringing, our socio-economic status, level of education, religion, race, sexuality, and past experience. Our perceptions can also be impacted by our health, our mood, or our energy level at the given time. Have you ever noticed that you become more irritable with normal day-to-day occurences when you have a cold?

All these factors form the lens through which we view the world and early experiences often have a long-lasting impact on how we perceive and respond to information. A child who is encouraged, even in failure, will likely grow up to be an adult with confidence and determination. A child who is repeatedly criticized may grow up insecure and doubtful, afraid to try for fear of failing. A partner who has been cheated on may find it difficult to trust. What we experience forms our beliefs and those beliefs determine how we respond.

Our response often has more to do with our own mindset than the situation at hand and that perception can create a reality that has little to do with truth. It is the case of the self-fulfilling prophecy. Whether we believe the best or the worst will happen, how we react can unconsciously create the exact scenario we anticipate, which ultimately reinforces the original belief.

In my former role as a Health and Safety Coordinator, I facilitated hours of training sessions. At the end of each session, I would ask participants to complete a feedback form. Each person in the room received the same information presented in the exact same way, yet the feedback varied immensely from negative to positive and everything in between. Thirty people who had sat in the same presentation provided 30 different perspectives of that training. Participants who saw no value in attending the training took no value from it. Participants who sought knowledge gained much.

The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation,

but your thoughts about it.

Eckhart Tolle

Once we understand that our perception is only our own reality, we have the opportunity to determine how we want to respond. This is particularly useful in personal relationships where two parties can have opposing perspectives of the same situation, both of whom believe their perception is right based on past experience.

If you find yourself repeating the same negative patterns, the problem may be with how you’re interpreting the information. By challenging your perceptions, you can alter the course of your life and create a more harmonious future.

Listen to your own self-talk. Words like “always”, “never” and “can’t” indicate a belief that has been ingrained and can affect not only how certain situations are perceived but also how you respond.

Question your response. If your knee-jerk is to become defensive when given advice or feedback, ask yourself why. Were you criticized frequently as a child? If you become suspicious when a partner doesn’t return your call, what is in your past that could make you react that way?

Take a deep breath and count to 10 when you feel yourself begin to react negatively to a situation. This gives you time to overcome the initial reaction and consider a mindful response.

Give the benefit of the doubt. While situations may seem similar, no two are exactly alike. A change in view can lead to a change in outcome.

Ask questions to clarify so that you have complete and accurate information and aren’t mis-interpreting the situation.

Respect other’s perspectives. In most cases, there is no right or wrong, just different, and taking the time to listen to another’s viewpoint can lead to better understanding.

So, what did you see in the photo above? You probably saw snow, mountains and clouds. But did you get the sense something about it was “off”? If so, you were right – the image was inverted. Below is the original photo of a mountain range reflected in a rock-bottomed lake just as the winter ice is beginning to recede.

It’s the same photo. What you see is all in how you look at it.

Have you ever acted on an assumption that turned out to be false? If it’s something you now laugh about, tell me about it in the comments. And if you like what you’ve seen, please like or share it.