Learning to Love Yourself

The greatest relationship you’ll have in your life is the one with the person in the mirror. Understanding that you are worthy of love is the first step to loving yourself. For those raised with kindness, encouragement, and support in a stable family environment, knowing you are deserving is second-nature. For others who may have been raised with judgment and criticism, or who suffered trauma as a child, it may be more challenging to believe.

While it can be difficult at times, learning to love yourself can be your greatest gift, to yourself and those around you.

Get to Know Yourself

Like any great love story, the relationship you have with yourself begins with getting to know who you are. What makes you smile? What gives you peace? What energizes you? How do you prefer to spend your time? What are the stories of your life – the sad, the funny, the trying, the moments that changed you? Taking the time to explore your your own life story and discover your unique self helps you to develop the confidence to share that person with the world. There is no one else exactly like you so embrace and celebrate your individuality.

Forgive Yourself

In getting to know yourself, you may find things you don’t like, things you’d like to change or past mistakes that embarass or shame you. This is normal. There isn’t a soul on this earth who is perfect, so why expect it of yourself? There is no right way to “be” in order to experience love; it’s the one thing that is accessible to anyone willing to be open to it. When you embrace your flaws and your mistakes as simply a condition of being a perfectly imperfect human who is constantly growing and changing, you’re able to show yourself the same kindness and forgiveness you show others.

Take Responsibility

The only person responsible for your happiness is you. When you take responsibility for the decisions you make and the impact they have, you’re able to recognize that the power to change and create the life you want is within your control. Taking responsibiity can sometimes mean facing hard truths and, in some cases, seeking professional help to deal with trauma, mental health and addiction. Knowing that you are taking those steps for yourself is in itself an act of love.

Recognize That Not Everyone Will Like You

Yes, there will be people who don’t like you no matter how amazing you are. That’s okay; it’s not a reflection of who you are or your worth. There are more than 7.5 billion people in this world and you probably don’t like every one of them either. When you know and accept yourself as the unique person you are, you won’t waste time on people who don’t and will instead seek out those who bring value to your life. As my mother liked to say, “I can’t be bothered with those who can’t be bothered with me.”

Stay True to Your Values

Loving oneself means understanding, respecting, and staying true to your values. You can compromise about what movie to watch or what to have for dinner with little consequence, but at the end of the day, you have to be able to look yourself in the mirror. Betraying your values for a relationship, whether romantic or platonic, can negatively impact your mental and physical heath.

When you set boundaries and remain true to your values, you won’t waste time on those who don’t respect you.

Honour Your Body

Your body is the tool that allows you to navigate the world. How you treat your body impacts not only your physical health but also your mental health. Taking care of your body by getting enough sleep, eating healthy, exercising regularly, and reducing stress is a gift that brings increased energy, a healthier mindset, and greater joy in your life.

Learn to Say No (and mean it)

How often have you said yes to a request or adjusted your plans to accommodate the desires of a friend or family member, only to find yourself resentful after the fact? Your time and energy are as valuable as anyone else’s, and loving yourself means being conscious of where and how you spend it. When you are fulfilling your own needs first, you’re more able to give quality time and attention to those who matter in your life.

Reap the Rewards

When you practice self-love, the benefits are immense. You’ll find you’re happier and more motivated in creating a life that brings you joy and peace. You won’t feel the need to compare or compete, you’ll step away from drama and jealousy, you’ll look and feel better, and you’ll have more of your best self to offer to those you love. Self-love is the gift that just keeps giving!

Love Stories – Movies That Stir the Heart

Love comes in many forms and in honour of the season, I thought I’d share some of my favourites for the many ways they inspire love, whether romantic, familial or platonic. Some you may already be familiar with; others may be new to discover.

The Notebook (2004) – A heartwrenching story of devotion, dedication, and a love that never gives up, The Notebook is the perfect date movie. Just make sure to keep the tissues handy!
Terms of Endearment (1983) – Families can be complicated. Debra Winger and Shirley McLean are brilliant as the rebellious daughter and icy, critical mother in this touching and trying story of their complex, and often comical, relationship as they navigate the trials of life over a 30 year span.
The Intouchables (2011) – French with English subtitles. Based on a true story, Omar Sy is perfection in the role of a young man from the projects hired as caretaker to a paraplegic aristocrat. The unlikely friendship that develops between the two men transcends culture, race, and class.
Under The Tuscan Sun (2003) – Diane Lane is divine as Frances, a woman cast aside by her husband who makes the impulsive decision to buy and renovate a home in Tuscany, where she is reminded that love and family come in many forms.
To Sir With Love (1967) – The ever classy Sidney Poitier plays an engineer who takes a teaching position in the projects of London’s East End, where he strives to gain the respect of his students as he pushes them to expect more from themselves and their lives. The story explores racial and class struggles during a period of social change.

Do you have a favourite movie about love? Let me know in the comments and I’ll check it out!

COMING MARCH 28

Taking Flight: Gaining the Courage to Travel Solo

Blogs and articles extol the virtues of solo travel, but for many I’ve met, the possibility seems out of reach. “I couldn’t do that,” is a lament I’ve heard often, mainly from young women fearful of going alone.

I understand that fear. I’ve felt it myself. Becoming a solo traveller didn’t happen overnight. Despite having always been an independent sort, I bought into the idea at an early age that I needed someone else to travel with and finding that someone was often a challenge I couldn’t overcome.

The decision to finally take the plunge came over time and every step I took to push my boundaries brought me closer to the confident traveller I am today. The same confident traveller you can be.

Interested in learning more? Sign up at https://jmwalshcoaching.com/ for my FREE presentation Taking Flight: Gaining the Courage to Travel Solo that sets out the 7 simple steps to take you from fearful to fearless. To be released March 28.