Quote
We spend January 1st walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives … not looking for flaws but for potential.
Ellen Goodman
Happy New Year! With the end of 2020 and the challenges it brought to all our lives, we begin the new year optimistic and full of resolution. This is the year we’ll lose weight, find a better job, go back to school, start travelling, or (fill in blank here). We make the list, filled with optimism and determination and initially, we do well. About three weeks in, however, our determination starts to waver and before we know it, we’re back to old habits and the resolution list is in the bin.
According to University of Scranton Psychology Professor John C. Norcross, Ph.D., only about 10% of resolutions are actually achieved. A big part of the reason is we’re trying to change ingrained habits and thinking too big. Sudden and drastic lifestyle changes can throw you off kilter. So how do we ensure success when making change?
Know Your Motivation
Understanding and focusing on WHY the goal is important to you helps maintain discipline when motivation itself wanes. If you find yourself using words like “should”, “ought” or “must”, you may be making the change based on someone else’s values and desires rather than your own. Ask yourself whether the goal you’re setting is one you want to achieve or one someone else thinks you should achieve. When your goal is tied to your own values and interests, your chances of succeeding are improved.
Consider What Will Have the Most Impact
Positive changes made in one area often have a ripple effect, creating additional positive impacts in another area. For example, if this is the year you to quit smoking, you’ll find you not only have more money and improved health, you’ll also find you have more energy to spend with friends and family, are more attractive to your present or potential partner, have increased confidence, and more time to devote to other interests. Rather than creating a list of all the things you want to do, choose the one goal that offers the greatest overall personal reward.
Think Small
Small changes tied to existing habits in our lives can have a greater impact overall than making a big change all at once. For example, if the ultimate goal is to better health, changing your entire meal plan isn’t going to work. You’ll start to feel as if you’re punishing yourself. Small, gradual changes, however, like adding a second vegetable to your plate or substituting your regular yogurt for lo-fat can help to change your mindset. If you already walk a half hour a day, add ten minutes. Take the stairs to your apartment once a day rather than the elevator. These small, easy to achieve changes will encourage the confidence needed to reach your ultimate goal.
Think Incremental
Your goal may be a large one – getting a degree, changing jobs, starting a new life in another country. and can at times seem impossible. If you break the goal down into bite sized pieces, those incremental changes have a greater chance of success because they’re easy to accomplish. When the changes are easy to make, they encourage a sense of confidence and accomplishment, allowing you to take the next step. These successes create momentum and inspire growth.
Taking positive steps to change your life be challenging. If you do slip up, don’t quit. Your new year can start any day. You can do it!
Book Review
The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, Michael A Singer
Have you ever lain awake at night, unable to sleep, the thoughts spinning in your mind, the emotions building with each thought, the minutes ticking closer and closer to the sound of the alarm? Or found yourself seething at the incompetent driver who dared cut you off in traffic? What we think and how we process the thoughts that cross our mind can have both a positive and negative impact on our emotions and reactions. While we enjoy the positives, the negatives can lead us down a disastrous path.
What if you could let it all go and be at peace, no matter what happens?
The Untethered Soul teaches how to reach beyond the conscious thought that clutters the mind and feeds the ego to the deeper and more authentic you. By addressing the fears and traumas that hold us back, Singer shows how we can free ourselves to live in the moment, unfettered by our past. In learning to let go and allow energy to flow through us, we will be more able to hear the sound of our true voice and choose the path of happiness.
COMING SOON
TAKING FLIGHT: GAINING THE COURAGE TO TRAVEL SOLO
Blogs and articles extol the virtues of solo travel, but for many I’ve met, the possibility seems out of reach. “I couldn’t do that,” is a lament I’ve heard often, mainly from young women fearful of going alone.
I understand that fear. I’ve felt it myself. Becoming a solo traveller didn’t happen overnight. Despite having always been an independent sort, I bought into the idea at an early age that I needed someone else to travel with and finding that someone was often a challenge I couldn’t overcome.
The decision to finally take the plunge came over time and every step I took to push my boundaries brought me closer to the confident traveller I am today. The same confident traveller you can be.
Interested in learning more? Sign up at https://jmwalshcoaching.com/ for my FREE presentation Taking Flight: Gaining the Courage to Travel Solo that sets out the 7 simple steps to take you from fearful to fearless. To be released March 28.
MENTAL HEALTH
January 28 is #bellletstalk Day to Reduce the Stigma Around Mental Health
Almost 1 in 5 Americans suffer from mental health issues. The stigma around mental health can prevent persons from reaching out and getting the help they need. Having struggled for years with depression and social anxiety, I understand the fear of speaking out and being labelled or rejected. It wasn’t until I talked to my doctor that I was able to begin to heal. Today I’m able to manage my symptoms so they don’t control my life.
You don’t have to go it alone. Reach out. Let’s talk.
JEANNE M WALSH COACHING 